Decade of Love

Ten years ago this very day, the weather here in central FL was absolute perfection!

The skies were clear and sunny.  The afternoon air was a delightful 72 degrees.  White, puffy clouds danced slowly just beyond the green tops of waving palm trees.

"Sheri, wait!  Are you making that up?   How can you possibly remember what the weather was like on this particular day ten years ago?!"

I remember so vividly because on this day ten years ago, our middle daughter became our first to walk down the aisle as a bride.  Alicia Joy was set to wed the man of her dreams, John Andrew Schreck.  And they could not have had a more picture perfect day.

Weather this time of year is always dicey in most of the country.  Why in the world would you ever choose January as a wedding month?  What were the chances people could even get flights?

But John and Joy had honored parent's wishes delaying their wedding until after college. Graduation was in December, 2007.  They wanted to marry the first available weekend in January.  John isn't one to delay when he knows the direction he's headed.

So, January 12, 2008 it was!

Joy had been on spring tour for the university in 2006.  She called home and wasted no time with small talk.  "Daddy, do you remember meeting the keyboard player for our choir?  His name is John Schreck.  Well, he's going to call you and ask if he can date me.  Please say yes.  I really like him."

Now some of you may find it surprising that a college student would have a young man call her father before agreeing to date him.  Let me give you some background information.

We birthed three daughters.  They were beautiful children with delightful personalities.   It was obvious they would become teenagers at some point.  We knew young men would notice their beauty and want to date them.

WE NEEDED A PLAN OF ACTION!

So before anyone was old enough to start thinking about boys, we began developing a plan.  We talked about it often with our girls, laughing together and establishing the "Why" of our plan.

Here's what we came up with - together:

• When a young man asked to call or date one of our daughters, the automatic reply was to be, "You'll have to call and ask permission from my Daddy first."  
• The reasoning for this was simple (and discussed often.)  Any young man "worth his salt," would recognize the privilege of talking to one of our daughters as well worth the effort.
• The daughter being pursued would then let Daddy know if she was or wasn't interested in the fella.  
• If she had no interest, Daddy was the one who said "No!" taking her off the hook.  
• If she was interested, Daddy could take enough time with his conversation to set some clear boundaries and start to know the fella.
• First dates were fun meals at our dinner table.
• Please note our daughters were completely involved in every part of the process.  
• They fully understood this to be a plan of action set in motion to protect them; not for controlling them.

Our little family action plan worked well all through their high school years.  We thought it would wrap up when the girls transitioned to college 500 miles away.  

Can you imagine our surprise when that first phone call came?  

"Daddy, I met this fella in my 8 AM class.  He wants to take me out next week.  I told him he needs to call you.  Let me know if he does, will you?"

Walking his first daughter down the aisle that January day wasn't easy.  But Frank did it confidently because he knew the man waiting to marry our beloved Joy was a man "worth his salt!"  

We dropped our anniversary card by their house earlier today.  Our visit was perfectly timed giving us the chance to squeeze all the grands.  Four brilliant little people.  Smart like their dad and attractive like their mom.  

Tonight John and Joy will celebrate with a quiet dinner all alone. (Thanks to wonderful baby-sitters and gift cards.)  They'll talk of all the highs and lows they've walked these past ten years.  Together they'll spin dreams for the days ahead.  

We couldn't be more thankful for the marriage they're continuing to build with Christ as the center.  

And who knows, one day soon it may be John looking straight into the blue eyes of his own beauties saying, "Any fella who wants to date you has to call ME first.  It didn't hurt me any calling your Papa to get permission to date your mom.  If he's worth his salt, he won't mind calling your daddy."  

Who knows.


(Did you have a dating plan that worked well with your family?  Any tips or funny stories to share with other families of teens?  We always enjoy hearing from you.....)